Mike Gardner

Comedian Mike Gardner likes to joke that to get some action from online dating sites, he describes himself as a "sultry Sagittarius who enjoys long walks on the beach." His semi-autobiographical routines also generally include self-effacing jokes about his hardcore Redneck mom. He also likes to joke about how broke he is and how he owes his cell phone carrier major amounts of money. He performs at 7:30 and 10 tonight and tomorrow night at Club Velvet at Hard Rock Rocksino Northfield Park. Tickets are $13 to $18. (Niesel)